As we sit around waiting to film I feel bored. So very, very bored. Why am I here, and is this where I really want to be? I look around at the film crew and the rest of the cast and realise that this is not what I want to be doing wth my life but have no other options. I feel like I’m going to be in this TV show until I die. My agent, and also another star in the programme walks towards me with a face like thunder. “What have you been saying about me in the papers?!” I tell him I haven’t said a single thing but it is obvious from his face that he doesn’t believe me. He is angry, he’s gone red in the face and looks like he’s about to explode.
He starts screaming at me as I’m sat on the floor, defenceless to his abuse. The whole camera crew is looking and everyone is just standing in silence watching the drama unfold. I am mortified. I haven’t even done anything wrong but I sense that this is the end for me. “We don’t even need you on The Only Way Is Essex!!” he screams at me. I gather that since he’s my agent he can control what work I get and I don’t think that the producers are going to want me on the programme for much longer. I’d weirdly enjoyed my time on TOWIE, even if I was an odd shade of orange and my clothes were all a little bit too small. Mark Wright is laughing at me. Being laughed at by Mark Wright is a low point in my life. I decide it is probably best to walk away. “WE CAN ALWAYS REPLACE YOU, ESSEX DOESN’T NEED YOU!” is the last thing I hear as I walk out of the door.
In a panic I realise that I have no agent and no PR team to try and dampen the flames on this whole episode. I need to find a new PR and quick, but I have no idea where to start looking. My old agent knew all the details like that but had never provided me with that information. I go to the media area of London and decide that that is the best place to start looking. I enter a giant glass fronted building that is home to specialist PR companies and go to a big screen that provides information to potential clients. There is a weird drop down menu that asks what I’m famous for. The options are: charity work, conservation work, sports personality, singer or other. I decide to click on other. I’m not even sure what I’m famous for. Being on The Only Way Is Essex had been my life for so long I just wasn’t sure what to do now. I’m hoping somebody here can help me decide.
iwasdreamingofthepast 